Reflection of Revision and Written Communication

Written Communication Reflection

Throughout this semester I feel as if I have really improved my written communication skills. I learned a lot about myself as a writer, as well as about the whole writing process in general. Through a lot of time and dedication to this class I have become better at researching information and using the information (properly cited) in my writing, writing thesis statements, editing/revising, and many more elements of the writing process.

I chose to revise my written rhetorical analysis essay for the writing part of this assignment to showcase my writing skills and improvements I made throughout the semester. The reason I chose this document is because it was the first multipage essay we wrote for this class, and I have improved greatly as a writer since this essay was first written. In the revised essay shown above, the highlighted portions of the document make it easier to pick out some of the changes I made when revising.

The first major revision I made to my essay was the correction of my thesis. Mr. Gallagher advised against multipoint style thesis statements, and suggested highlighting points talked about in the essay before coming to a concluding statement, so this is just what I did. I decided to completely delete the thesis I had written for this document, and highlighted three main points that make up the bulk of my essay. After I made points about; The Great Gatsby reference, tone and word choice, and reputable evidence that backs up his claim, I ended the opening paragraph with a concluding statement about the use of rhetorical strategies by Michaels to persuade the audience to see the real reason behind the love for diversity in America. By making these changes, it offers the reader a clearer direction as to where the essay is going.

Another major improvement I made to my essay when revising was the rearrangement of my paragraphs so they fit the order that I discussed them in my opening paragraph. Professor Gallagher mentioned that that was a major set-back of my original document, and took away from the unity of my essay. I did this by moving the paragraph about word choice and tone after the paragraph talking about the fallacies in Michaels’ argument about The Great Gatsby.  By making these changes I made the document more cohesive and easier to follow and understand for the reader.

I decided to keep a lot of the paragraph were I talked about Michaels’ flawed argument of The Great Gatsby the same as the original document, because I felt that it makes good points and allows readers to see that I am being cautious and evaluating both the pros and cons of his argument. I also kept a lot of the argument about word choice and tone, just rearranged the order in which it was talked about. The paragraph about voice and tone highlights an important aspect of rhetoric that some people may not think about or overlook, and I felt like my discussion provided an insight into how exactly Michaels used these aspects in this excerpt.

Through making these revision, my essay flows better and is easier for readers to follow and read. These changes are representative of things I have learned this semester, and my growth as a writer. This semester has taught me that although writing will always be an important aspect of communication, other aspects of communication like; oral, visual, and electronic communication are becoming increasingly more important with the uprising of technology. Written communication often is advantageous when needed to provide detailed and accurate information that can be kept for long periods of time, however it can be very time consuming to compose and present, and thus different forms of communication are needed. In the other pages of my website, I explore the importance of the other modes of communication learned about and used this semester, as well as my improvements as a -OVE communicator.

Revised Written Rhetorical Analysis

Written Rhetorical Analysis

Comments left by Professor Gallagher:

 

 

Original Written Rhetorical Analysis

Original Written Rhetorical Analysis